Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
