girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
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