I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
