Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
