Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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