its not stalking. its research.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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