thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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