my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize