i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize