The panties match.
I'll be right there.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
