I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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