You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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