Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
