something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
