Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
