And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Randomize
