Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
