You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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