OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Randomize
