I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
It's never too late to be topless.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
