There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
