I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I feel like abortions should bother me more
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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