I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
