dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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