Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Best friends brother. Beat that.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
