feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
