New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.