Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(513): View more from Ohio

someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet

(330): View more from Ohio

I'll alert the authorities

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(231): View more from Michigan

i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.

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(440): View more from Ohio

I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"

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(704): View more from North Carolina

The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(916): View more from California

WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.

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(778): View more from British Columbia

I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!

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(352): View more from Florida

I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.

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(415): View more from California

Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.

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