she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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