when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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