Redeem this text for a blowjob
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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