Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
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I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Be still, my beating vagina.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
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I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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