this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
