Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Randomize
