I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Found the puke drawer
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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