Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
