So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
