I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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