Buhtt sex?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
