I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Randomize
