I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
pray to the hookup gods
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
