I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
