Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
