My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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