the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
