yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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