ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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