Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Randomize
