Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
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