Michael Bay diarrhea
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
We talked him into tasing himself.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
