is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
