what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
