how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
