I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Randomize
