I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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