get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
