Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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