I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Randomize
