guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Its about making memories worth repressing
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
