so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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