Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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