Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize