i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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