I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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