According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
