U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I think a kid would responsible me up
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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