Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
