how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
