there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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