Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
