i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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