so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
