Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
