i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
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If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
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Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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